I've decided that the money's (more than) acceptable & the perks are fantastic. Ah who am I kidding it's less than half of "peanuts", does that make it nuts or peas?
I'm gonna become a TD anyway. It's my civic duty to charge the Irish tax payers for listening to me waffle for the next 5 years. Oh wait, that's gonna happen anyway! Oh well, maybe it's the power :)
My name might not be on the Waterford ballot but feel free to add my name and a little tic if you support my campaign manifesto. Not to be confused with my art gallery of the same name which I'm shamelessly plugging like a politicians memoirs. Jayz, I'm good at this.
I PROMISE
- Not to visit your house and listen to your silly problems as if I'm going to do something about it
- Not to pretend to be more knowledgable than I am about a range of issues including planning, incineration, the environment, nuclear power, health care
- Not to take out any advertisements in the paper with my photo on them or any mugshot endorsements from potential voters
- To avoid saying I'm "tough on crime" at any stage during my campaign.
- To avoid saying I'm "working hard for the people of Waterford" during my campaign.
- Not to exploit the impoverished in my attempt to gain political power by portraying myself as a "working class hero" and general do-gooder
- Not to pretend I support the INO's action if you're a nurse or condemn it if you're not
- To pay consultant doctors the 400k a year they deserve if you're a consultant. Skip that, they all vote PD's anyway
- Not to reference Michael Collins, Eamon DeValera, Padraig Pearse or any of a number of long dead Irish heroes in my election manifesto. (well, I wasn't serious about that promise)
- Not to take credit for anything good that happens in Waterford during my term including health care facilities and much needed transport infrastructure which has already been agreed.
- Not to pretend I've been spending every spare moment lobbying the minister of education for the proposed University of the South East
- Not to be affiliated with any political party, especially any party who's name is in Irish with long illustrious histories to be wheeled out at election time like a sacred cow.
- Not to smoke in the Dail bar to prove how with-it and cool I am
- To build a 60,000 all seater multi-purpose stadium for every man, woman and child. Sorry, my principles just dissolved in a puff of electoral smoke.